This couple must really hate each other

I can just hear the photographer now: "You two stand about 3 feet away from each other. Now put your hands down real awkward like. That's great sir. Now look like you are really pissed you just tied the knot. Perfect!" Snap Snap. Great photo for the mantel. Blech.

Why, oh why, are photographers taking these type of photographs?

Overdone wedding decorations

Another one of the latest trendy trend trends. Actually, my hope that this overdone decor piece is on its way out (I have been seeing them constantly for about 2 years now). Do people put these out at their wedding because they believe an antique camera collector is coming by to make an offer? Well, save it for the yard sale sister. Because this is your wedding- not an antique store.

Alice in a forest wedding

Dear Readers,

This photo has been removed by request of the photographer.




What in Sam Hill does Alice in Wonderland have to do with a wedding?

Maybe these models are really only 5 years old and their parents made them get married in the middle of their tea party.

Sigh. This photo makes me sad that girls out there actually look at this crap and think they should aspire to "design" their wedding like this. Or that someone blogged that they were so "dreamy." Blech. Where are the sane people?

Not so clever shoes

Another really clever and unusual idea...Cowboy Boots worn under your wedding dress! How unusual and different! I never see them featured in every single blog.

Yeah right.

I know a lot of people think they are breaking ground with wearing cowboy boots and all to your wedding but I hate to break it to you...it is not clever. Boots are very, very, very normal. So congrats- you are very normal! Now no reason to take a photo of them unless you take a photo of your boots every time you saddle up. Unless you grew up on a ranch, farm or riding horses, you are kind of a poser for wearing boots to your wedding.

The wedding industry's most overdone photo

Another trendy-trend-trend lately. The obligatory "wedding shoe" shot. I love that men (ahem, I use that word lightly on this one) have gotten in on the action as well. Why not match your socks to the brides pink shoes! So clever! And let's lift up our pantalones to show em' off!

Brides, if you want to be really creative, wear a white shoe (and then don't take a photo of it).

We get it- you are wearing shoes. So are we! Yay for shoes!

Oven in a field wedding

 
This picture is actually what inspired me to start this blog. It really broke me. It takes the top category of world's lamest wedding photos. REALLY? An oven in the field. I repeat...an oven in a field. Hey guys- that looks like a really fun wedding! Who is ready for tequila shots? BLECH. At first I prayed (I really did) that this was some contrived wedding magazine shoot, but nope- it is real.

Bed in a field wedding

No need to rent the honeymoon suite when you can just set up the bed at your "field" reception. You can go straight from the alter the consummation.  How economical!

Welcome!

Hello sane people out there,

This blog is for everyone out there that is tired of seeing unrealistic wedding photos (mostly from blogs). Frankly, if I never see another mason jar of local jam, antique his and her mustaches and vintage whatcha-ma-call-its in the middle of a meadow, I'll be fine. However, if I do see one more photos of coordinating wedding sock and shoe sets or the bride and groom staring at the camera with a lost yet gloomy look on their face, I won't be fine. I will probably be sick.

These weddings to me do not look or feel like fun weddings. In fact, the best weddings are not about an antique chair in a field but....your guests! Did they have fun? Did people dance? Did people laugh? Were your vows touching? I bet your guests do not even remember the 15 hours you spent on your DIY "chabby chic" escort cards.

I mean, we are not curing cancer here.

I don't know about you but I don't need to see one more themed wedding (Mad Hatter garden party, french provincial, vintage keys, blah blah blah). How about the theme of your wedding is...Wedding! Wow- wouldn't that be a cool idea.

So, I am opening this blog to pocking fun at ourselves. Here are a few things rules:

No using the following words/phrases: SWOON, DREAMY or I AM OBSESSED WITH (fill in the blank)

No being a baby (If you can't poke fun or take a joke, please leave this blog and go jump onto a wedding style blog that takes itself really seriously. There are many but no names here!)

Please send the most ridiculous wedding photos you can find! And folks, I am not talking about photos from the 80's with poofy hair, I am talking about current photos that actually take themselves seriously.