Saturday, December 10, 2011

Forcing romance down people's throats

My god, they showed up at your dreadful wedding.  Isn't that enough?

Do you really need to post chalkboard signs about love?  Like you know anything about it.  You are not even married yet.  Give it 5 years and 2 kids and then we will see if you go around posting chalkboard signs about love being in the air.   Trust me, this irritates your smarter guests.

Groom considers backing out of wedding...talks to diving board about it

I would too!  If my bride forced me to lie down on a diving board for my wedding photos I would pull the plug as well!  I think you can absolutely tell how a marriage is going to play out by the wedding photos.  The more ridiculous and "creative" the bride makes her groom be, the more trapped he will feel later in the marriage.  Who am I kidding?  He probably feels that way now! 

Wedding such a snoozer that bride and groom fall asleep during reception photos

LOL!  Seriously?  Was this photographer so awful that they literally fell asleep taking photos?  Oh this picture brings me great joy because it is just so terrible.  Thank you terrible photo for making me laugh so hard.  On a side note, I hope to one day meet this groom at a bar and for him to tell me his bride forced him to do this.  I am sure he will tell me this as he downs a JWB on the rocks.

Monday, November 28, 2011

What is the DEAL?

I just can't take it.  What is the deal with these trendy mustaches used in wedding photos?  These mustache photos are as ubiquitous as the Prius in Los Angeles.  I will give $100 bucks to the bride who just stops waxing and grows her own stache.  Now THAT would be unique!

oh my lord- the mustach phenomenon takes on a new form

Is this what people have to do to have fun at their weddings now a days?  What about keg stands?   A round of makers mark shots for the group?  Really?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

One of the most overused words in the wedding blog industry: Whimsical!

Dear Readers,  This photo was taken down at the request of the photographer.  It was a picture of two people wearing plastic grey bunny masks on their head during a wedding dinner. 


For this particular photo, I am not making fun of the people in it. From the man's collar, he appears to be a guest. Fine. If someone gave me a mask and their wedding was as boring as this looks, I would put it on too. What I do have a problem with is that the blog it came from titled it "Whimsical Love." Excuse me while I go throw myself down the stairs. I love that this bride probably thinks her party is so "whimsical" because she gave her guests plastic rabbit masks to wear.

Let me guess- her theme was Alice in Wonderland meets Southern California pumpkin patch.

The latest US epidemic... Men are stealing women's bridal bouquets!

These hipster loving guys in Southern California are just as bad as their brides!


I am the first one to think men should get pedicures, manicures and hey, even pick up an USWeekly if you are bored in line at the Supermarket. But why are you taking a photo with your wife's bridal bouquet?

I'm baaaack!

And better than ever. After taking a long time off from this blog to have a real wedding I am proud to say that there are NO pictures of my husband and I looking all sad and gloomy standing one foot apart from each other staring at the camera. He never raised his pants to show off his o' so clever striped socks and I didn't pass out "fake" mustaches. No, thank god, we did things our way and had a blast. The wedding was unique without being cliche.  Most of our pictures are of people just having a great time and celebrating the marriage.  Because that is what weddings are about.

So please enjoy the posts. If anything, I hope to be some fresh air to the saturated "dreamy" bridal blog market out there. Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

When brides try to be Catalog models

I wonder if actual real models take these kind of nonsense wedding photos. Maybe they just look at the camera and smile.

This couple must really hate each other

I find that the "aloof" wedding shots are some of the most popular. Perhaps photographers should jump onto the divorce bandwagon as well?

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I guess we know who wears the pants in this wedding

How ironic you are! The man (ahem) is holding the bouquet. What a clever & unique shot. Wait a second folks...I know what is going on here. Stop the presses! This couple is not trying to be disastrously clever...this guy is being economical! I bet you that he made the bouquet himself moments before the wedding and while he was walking across the field (b/c all weddings are in fields/forests/farms) to give it to his soon to be wife, the photographer bumped into him and snapped a photo of him mid bouquet deliver.

If the cast of 'The Hours' got married

I am so sad I missed this wedding. Looks like they had a really great time.

My little pony wedding

I was so relieved when I saw this listed on a blog as a "Southern Inspired" wedding as someone has finally gotten it right! Bravo. Apparently, this is what people in the south do all the time at their weddings. Well, according to people who have never been to a wedding in the south.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

This couple must really hate each other

I can just hear the photographer now: "You two stand about 3 feet away from each other. Now put your hands down real awkward like. That's great sir. Now look like you are really pissed you just tied the knot. Perfect!" Snap Snap. Great photo for the mantel. Blech.

Why, oh why, are photographers taking these type of photographs?

Overdone wedding decorations

Another one of the latest trendy trend trends. Actually, my hope that this overdone decor piece is on its way out (I have been seeing them constantly for about 2 years now). Do people put these out at their wedding because they believe an antique camera collector is coming by to make an offer? Well, save it for the yard sale sister. Because this is your wedding- not an antique store.

Alice in a forest wedding

Dear Readers,

This photo has been removed by request of the photographer.

What in Sam Hill does Alice in Wonderland have to do with a wedding?

Maybe these models are really only 5 years old and their parents made them get married in the middle of their tea party.

Sigh. This photo makes me sad that girls out there actually look at this crap and think they should aspire to "design" their wedding like this. Or that someone blogged that they were so "dreamy." Blech. Where are the sane people?

Not so clever shoes

Another really clever and unusual idea...Cowboy Boots worn under your wedding dress! How unusual and different! I never see them featured in every single blog.

Yeah right.

I know a lot of people think they are breaking ground with wearing cowboy boots and all to your wedding but I hate to break it to is not clever. Boots are very, very, very normal. So congrats- you are very normal! Now no reason to take a photo of them unless you take a photo of your boots every time you saddle up. Unless you grew up on a ranch, farm or riding horses, you are kind of a poser for wearing boots to your wedding.

Friday, February 25, 2011

The wedding industry's most overdone photo

Another trendy-trend-trend lately. The obligatory "wedding shoe" shot. I love that men (ahem, I use that word lightly on this one) have gotten in on the action as well. Why not match your socks to the brides pink shoes! So clever! And let's lift up our pantalones to show em' off!

Brides, if you want to be really creative, wear a white shoe (and then don't take a photo of it).

We get it- you are wearing shoes. So are we! Yay for shoes!

Oven in a field wedding

This picture is actually what inspired me to start this blog. It really broke me. It takes the top category of world's lamest wedding photos. REALLY? An oven in the field. I oven in a field. Hey guys- that looks like a really fun wedding! Who is ready for tequila shots? BLECH. At first I prayed (I really did) that this was some contrived wedding magazine shoot, but nope- it is real.

Bed in a field wedding

No need to rent the honeymoon suite when you can just set up the bed at your "field" reception. You can go straight from the alter the consummation.  How economical!


Hello sane people out there,

This blog is for everyone out there that is tired of seeing unrealistic wedding photos (mostly from blogs). Frankly, if I never see another mason jar of local jam, antique his and her mustaches and vintage whatcha-ma-call-its in the middle of a meadow, I'll be fine. However, if I do see one more photos of coordinating wedding sock and shoe sets or the bride and groom staring at the camera with a lost yet gloomy look on their face, I won't be fine. I will probably be sick.

These weddings to me do not look or feel like fun weddings. In fact, the best weddings are not about an antique chair in a field but....your guests! Did they have fun? Did people dance? Did people laugh? Were your vows touching? I bet your guests do not even remember the 15 hours you spent on your DIY "chabby chic" escort cards.

I mean, we are not curing cancer here.

I don't know about you but I don't need to see one more themed wedding (Mad Hatter garden party, french provincial, vintage keys, blah blah blah). How about the theme of your wedding is...Wedding! Wow- wouldn't that be a cool idea.

So, I am opening this blog to pocking fun at ourselves. Here are a few things rules:

No using the following words/phrases: SWOON, DREAMY or I AM OBSESSED WITH (fill in the blank)

No being a baby (If you can't poke fun or take a joke, please leave this blog and go jump onto a wedding style blog that takes itself really seriously. There are many but no names here!)

Please send the most ridiculous wedding photos you can find! And folks, I am not talking about photos from the 80's with poofy hair, I am talking about current photos that actually take themselves seriously.